I have two kids, one is 11 years old and the other is 19 years old. How do we define trauma in kids? Please give examples.
Trauma can be defined in various forms as they are divided in different categories. Since one of your children is still a child and the other one is a young adult, the definition remains the same but the reactions differ. Examples of traumas could be emotional, mental, sexual and looking at the lifestyle we all live right now even technological and financial.
My twins are 5 years old. One is very shy and is an introvert and the other is very hyperactive. Please tell me what activities should I teach them as per their nature?
Introverts- covid-19 is the best time for them as they don’t have to interact with a lot of people, so reading a book, listening to an audio book, coloring, cleaning up his/her toys. Extroverts: they are anyways facing difficulties as they like going out meeting and talking to people so the built up energy can be utilised by getting them involved in simple household chores like watering plants, putting the unbreakable washed dishes, helping out with dusting and playing games that involve more physical energy.
My daughter is 12 years old. Focus is an issue. She forgets things very easily. Even if her school tiffin is in front of her she forgets to put it in her bag. Once done with homework she forgets to put it in her bag. There are many situations like this. Even after repeated reminders she misses out. Is it natural?
It can’t be defined as natural, some children face short term retention. So you need to give them a reminder often and try to give positive reinforcements for remembering which are simple and don’t involve money.
My son is in 9th standard. He is very aggressive and gets angry very fast. He lacks patience. Also he doesn't listen to us nor to his grandparents, especially to his grandmother. He doesn't respect them but when he has his work to be done he is very nice and good. And is there anything from our end which we can change in ourselves or my parents or any habit we should change?
Your son might require behaviour therapy in this case. So if you see his anger or built up negative energy is taking up the negative side of his behaviour. So to help him understand his behaviour and direct it in a correct direction you need to take up behaviour therapy.
Positive and negative reinforcements are sometimes you can start with. Giving positive reinforcements for good behaviour and negative reinforcements for negative behaviour. Positive reinforcements could be making his favourite dish, increasing his tv time by half an hour. Negatives could be no junk for a week and cutting down on tv time.
My son is 15 years old now. He had speech problems from the age of 4. Speech therapists say he copies the same what we say. Any mentally problems?
Firstly I’m glad that you approached a speech therapist. It’s not a mental concern, continue with the instructions given by the speech therapist ofcourse it’s a long process but you’ll see the results with some patience, commitment and compassion.
My son has very less concentration on whatever he does, whether studies or activities. Please guide on what should be done.
I would suggest firstly get him assessed by an occupational therapist and take up counselling sessions as well.
My daughter is 6 years old. Before sleeping everyday she gets scared. She says like I get bad dreams everyday and someone stabbed her or any kind of ghost. In short a bad dream. She refuses to sleep and starts crying. We tried putting positive thoughts in her mind. How to overcome such trauma in kids?
With some children it happens easily with some it takes time to recover as every child is different. You need to monitor what all she is viewing throughout the day on tv or laptop or tab or mobile. And at night make sure that you read a story to her which has a good moral as children relate more to stories and please get her involved and not make it robotic.
I have twins (both girls) age 12 years. They always keep on comparing with each other on each and every thing so much that they are always busy doing the same rather than doing anything else which has even built negativity in them. Please suggest what can be done.
It’s a very common concern in siblings. I would suggest please take up counseling centers for the same.
I have tried positive and negative reinforcements but it tends to anger many times and also too much loud expression /talk and a lot of crying. And the way he cries and makes a loud voice while talking to my parents. They take a step back and allow him to do what he wants to do.
It’ll happen as he is not used to such behaviour from your end. So he’ll create distressing situations. The key is compassion, patience and consistency. You can’t expect patience from them but here you pay an important role in communicating to them that you and your spouse are the decision makers for your child and they need to take your permission before letting me on his own.
If we ask the kids to do something may it be related to studies or any other task.They are never willing to do it ,either they get irritated or they scream. What's the reason and what can we do?
Don’t keep the study times too long and you need to keep and create a rational thinking as to why studying or any other task is important with them in a more mindful manner.
My son is 2.5 months old. I've found that whenever he sleeps he shudders often.
That’s ok. Please be less vigilant of every small thing your children do.
My 6 year daughter doesn't want to sit and study, she likes to watch TV and be on the mobile. Nowadays I'm busy with my 1 year old baby and household work so she is not ready to listen to me. What to do for concentration and my 1.5 year old baby is very hyper and can't speak but understands everything so he screams a lot if anyone doesn't understand him. What to do to make him calm?
You need to involve your daughter in more non digital activities and build a good rapport with her and also get her involved in helping you take care of your son by playing different games with him. That was in some days you’ll see changes in both of their behaviors and also you’ll see that they are following your instructions. I would like to inform everyone. As pooja mentioned earlier I do that private sessions (Mumbai) and online sessions for all ages groups so please feel free to contact me on my number or my email id if you are looking for counseling or arts based therapy sessions
No: 8879556896
Email id: vijayta.jagnani@gmail.com
My son, since the last 6 months is more interested in cricket and he wants to be a cricketer but his physique and time management is an issue.
If he is interested you need to tweek around his time table and concentrate on his physical growth so that he feels you value his opinion. And whether or not he becomes one you need to be by his side and not underestimate him.
Will you please give details about art based therapy.
Therapeutic sessions based on different art forms. Drawing, drama, story telling, play-way and music.
Vijayta Jagnani – Prevention of Trauma in Children
Vijayta Jagnani – Prevention of Trauma in Children
Counsellor and Art-based Therapist, Vijayta Jagnani has completed her Bachelors in Human Development through Nirmala Niketan College (Mumbai University) followed by Masters in Human Development through SNDT University (Mumbai). She is a qualified Art’s Based Therapist since the last 3 years from WCCLF University Pune. She has worked in various schools and counseling setups like GAET Counseling Center, Gundecha Education Academy and Trijog in the last 6.5 years of her career. She has also worked with Aditi Nadkarni at St Andrews School Bandra as a school counselor. Along with that she was a life skill trainer for Khalsa College Third year students.
She currently works with Arpan NGO as a Healing Coordinator also takes online and private sessions for cases over various age groups and difficulties.