Teenage unanswered questions
Expert session Question & Answers

My sister in law's daughter is 9 years old and hyperactive. How to handle her in a better way. Also, we don't want her to be demotivated if we ask her not to do anything.

Hyperactivity is good for a 9 years old. Involve the child into sports.

My son is 16 years old. He is very shy. How to communicate with him about this topic?

‘Talk to my teenage son about puberty’-

Tips on Discussing Puberty with Your Kids- Use actual body part language for genitals. Keep things short when talking to younger children. Use day-to-day situations to trigger conversations. Don’t wait to have “the talk”. Puberty is a normal part of growing up. Fake it until you make it.

My elder daughter though 10 years old but she started to have periods and in terms of behaviour, she is acting like teens and wants not to be told things wants to do things her way, so how to handle teen things at an earlier age?

As you rightly said – ‘like teens’. So why try to? It’s normal teenage behavior. Spending more time with friends and less time with family is very normal teenage behavior. It means that your teen is shifting his or her circle of support to peers and away from parents and siblings. While it might feel hurtful, this is a necessary stage of development and should be expected and even encouraged.

How to explain to a teenager particularly of 13 years and more how reproduction happens as they are very inquisitive on this.

I have just explained a similar situation in the earlier question for a 16 year old. They are already taught in 7-8 standards.

Suggest some tips to handle teenage girls especially on infatuation or the so called 'crush' on boys.

I’ll answer this question in general for all. There are few ‘needs of adolescence’.

Needs for security : The adolescent needs to be emotional, social and economic.

Need for Love : Affection or love is one of the most basic and psychological.

Need for freedom and independence : Adolescence is a time when this is most important. 

Need for self-expression and achievement : Every adolescent has an inherent.

But then as parents and mentors, we have to handle such a situation. How do you overcome adolescent problems? Advise kids to know your values. Values are what you believe in, what you think is right or wrong, and what is most important to you. Advise kids to –

Draw up a plan for your life, Develop yourself, Have a role model, Make decisions, Be Assertive, Learn a Skill, Take advantage of holiday periods.

How to answer on how to handle or treat the opposite gender. The way of talking and all.

Depends on the child’s age –

Below 11 years – explain using indirect examples. 

12 years and above – you should follow a simple principle – talk as you go. Use actual body part name/language for genitals. Use day-to-day situations to trigger conversations. Don’t wait to have “the talk”.

How to start talking about the differences in a boy and girl? My son is 12 years but I am seeing behavioural changes.

He already has it in his school curriculum. You don’t have to talk extra. Just try to teach general ‘etiquettes’. Also teach him to respect the opposite gender.

What are the signs in the teens that they are having some issues but unable to express?

If psychological issues – then change in behavior, traumatised activities, fear to meet people etc., either making too many friends or no friends at all, avoiding opposite gender, etc. If sexual issues – then of course only a medical practitioner can advise.

In case we need to talk before 8th standard, do you have any educational videos to explain about reproduction before the teenager comes across wrong information from outside?

Yes, practically few of such videos are available on YouTube. Unfortunately, I don’t have it right now to give you the link.

The school here in gurgaon conducts full fledged sessions with experts- separate for both the gender of the schools.

Actually technically that’s done in most CBSE schools. Many professionals also now conduct such sessions.

Many teenagers fall prey to infatuation, which may be problematic for them and their careers. How to guide them? Also most of the time they are rebellious.

Guidance is very important to judge between right and wrong. Ethics and moral values to be discussed regularly at home. Also teaching the difference between infatuation and love is very important. Further we need to assure the understanding of the child’s mental requirements and explain the child with support and confidence. We also recently had a session on infatuation, here in the 5-15 group a few months back.

Well that’s a major headache. Moodiness and anger in teenagers is a common issue that parents deal with. It often stems from a teen’s desire to be more independent from his parents and his frustration that he can’t yet enjoy the freedoms of an adult. That frustration is sometimes expressed in anger and striking out verbally at parents. Finally, other ways to help: Let him know when he does something well, encourage him to be part of family decision-making, show interest in his friends, school, and activities. Set rules for use of phones, devices, and social media. Help him understand peer pressure.

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Abhra Pratip Ray – Teenage unanswered questions

Abhra Pratip Ray – Teenage unanswered questions

Abhra Pratip Ray is a Professor and teaches Physics and Psychology in Pune University affiliated College. He’s a Teachers’ Trainer, Educator, Psychometric Trainer and Personal Counselor. He has been awarded as Best Teacher by Image Achievers Welfare Forum, Mumbai and the Best Educational Mentor award from Brands Academy, Delhi for his contribution into the field of teaching and counseling.